


The only thing that I know

by Akira14



Category: Free!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-14
Updated: 2015-08-14
Packaged: 2018-04-14 16:18:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4571250
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Akira14/pseuds/Akira14
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>If he's doing what's best for him and Sousuke, then why does it hurt so damn much?</p>
            </blockquote>





	The only thing that I know

_We keep this love in a photograph / We made these memories for ourselves / Where our eyes are never closing / Hearts are never broken / Times forever frozen still._ (Photograph, Ed Sheeran)

**This** is for the best.  
It's better to break up now, than letting the distance tear us apart and ending up hating each other (as if I ever _could_ , as if you ever _would_ ), right?  
For the best, yeah.  
Parting from each other with a quick hug and a pat on the back, pretending we ain't nothing more than bros and keep our love in the photographs that we'll never show to anyone - your sweetest and most genuine smile, my adoring gaze whenever I look at you, the worst cases of bed hair ever seen after a night spent together - and saying goodbye after promising we won't let another five years go by before seeing each other again.

This is for best; that's what I believed.  
We talked about it, me and you, and we both agreed that it was the most sensible thing to do if we wanted to leave our best memories untarnished.  
I might even have been the one to make the suggestion in the first place, picturing you and me reuniting in Sydney as soon as you realize there's no way you can get over someone like me in your lifetime (and damn, that's the same for me, Sousuke, you know that) and then getting married because we are both done wasting time.

Then why the hell am I crying?  
Well, I didn't quite taken into account how fucking painful it would be to let you go.  
I know you deserve better than a long distance relationship. That you deserve someone who is right by your side as you tentatively look for another dream worth fighting for, someone who makes sure you don't lose the fight to your overzealousness and shows you how rewarding hard work can be.  
And yet... I selfishly want to be _that_ one person, but I can't. Not now.

I could ask you to wait for me, but for how long?  
I don't even know myself.

What I know, Sou, is that we will have our happy ending.  
I will give it you, that reward you never asked for.  
I promise.

(TBC?)

 

**************************************

Meglio così.  
Meglio non finire per odiarci.  
Meglio chiudere ora, salutarci all'aeroporto fingendoci soltanto amici e lasciare l'amore che abbiamo condiviso nelle fotografie che mai mostreremo ad altri - il tuo sorriso più dolce e sincero, il mio sguardo adorante rivolto verso di te, le nostre improponibili capigliature appena svegli dopo una notte passata insieme - e lasciarci con la promessa di lasciar passare altri cinque anni prima di vederci ancora. 

Meglio così, credevo.  
Ne abbiamo discusso ed abbiamo preso la decisione di comune accordo, per conservare un bel ricordo di quel che siamo stati.  
Credo addirittura di essere stato io a proporre la cosa, dopo essermi fatto tutta una commedia romantica nella testa in cui tu mi raggiungi a Sydney dopo esserti scoperto ancora innamoratissimo (e per me sarà lo stesso, ovviamente, come diavolo lo dimentico uno come te, Sousuke?) nonostante ci fossimo lasciati anni prima e mi chiedi di sposarti.  
Allora perché cazzo sto piangendo?

Perché, be', non avevo messo in conto quanto facesse male lasciarti andare.  
So che meriti di meglio di una relazione a distanza. So che meriti qualcuno che ti stia accanto mentre cerchi un nuovo sogno da realizzare, di qualcuno che si assicuri che tu non ti autodistrugga nuovamente con il tuo dannato stacanovismo.  
Eppure... voglio essere quel qualcuno, ma non posso. Non ora.

Potrei chiederti di aspettare, ma per quanto?  
Non lo so nemmeno io.

Ma avremo il nostro lieto fine, te lo giuro.  
Sarà ciò che ti darò senza che tu me l'abbia mai chiesto.  
Contaci.


End file.
